Last month I tried meditating.
The kind where you sit in a quiet place and repeat a mantra.
It didn’t go so well.
Maybe I was a little too desperate for it to work, or maybe it was because my brain likes to tell stories and refute mantras in quiet moments. Either way it was kind of like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach while watching and waiting for a pot of water to boil.
I felt more anxious.
In the past, I found yoga calming, but sometimes those “yoga clouds” were not in fact carrying away my thoughts, but sorting into my to do list.
A black-capped chickadee slinging seeds (and perhaps thoughts).
And walking. I love walking. But I like to go over projects and stuff. Or whatever. I just like to break stuff down when I walk, not push it away.
Then last week I wanted to take some pics of the birds in our backyard. So I sat on my deck, about ten feet from the bird feeder. I had to sit still while holding my camera and somehow that stance forced me to keep an even breathing rhythm.
And so I watched the birds.
Or did they watch me?
I was still. Breathing nicely. And my thoughts were…I don’t know. Like scattered seeds on the ground? Because wherever they were they weren’t bothering me.
Do you meditate?
HAPPY WEEKEND! xo