Just A Little More Time Please

For the last few months I’ve been working on a project that I really want to finish.

I’m frustrated with myself, because I was supposed to be done in March.

i love to draw

Back to the drawing board.

Oh, I’ve got a bunch of excuses reasons why I’m not done. For one, this project is pushing at the limits of my technological skills.

I took a Photoshop class this spring, but I still have some boundary stretching to do in the tech department.

 

photoshop learning fun

A Grand Illusion

I’d say, don’t try this at home, but you can if you’ve got Photoshop!

Anyway, I’m not done. But all around me things are finishing.

Today was my baby’s son’s last day of high school. It was also my last official day as a parent volunteer at his school.

high school mascot dragon

I sold school t-shirts, but they never made me wear the dragon costume. 🙂

Two days ago I made the 4,449th cheese sandwich (approximately) to go in my kid’s lunch box.

For the last time.

Because a Lunch Box Provided By Your Mom is not one of the choices for his college meal plan (I checked).

For the last nine months, there’s been his last cross country meet, last all district (and this year all state) chorus concerts, last music awards picnic, last piano lesson and recital, last prom, and lots of senior events that continue the You’re Finished theme.

But I’m not finished.

Not yet.

I just need a little more time.

 

Are you checking stuff off your To Do List? Tell me, I’d love some inspiration. Or a hug. Or a donut. And speaking of donuts…

donuts in richmond VA

Happy National Donut Day!!

xo

 

 

**If you enjoyed this post, you can subscribe to receive my new posts straight to your inbox.  Just add your email in the space at the top of the right sidebar under my photo.

 

Making Change a Sweet Transformation

 new things kettering quote_opt

Two years ago I signed up for weekly emails to train for a 5k.  At the time I was walking 5 miles a day and had just started adding jogging.  I thought it would be motivating, maybe even fun to collect 5k race t-shirts.

Of course, life had other plans and before I could even get a second 5k training email, I was at the doctor for neck pain.  I thought it was just a pinched nerve, but it wasn’t.  My doctor sent me for x-rays and physical therapy, but more symptoms arrived that landed me in a neurologist’s office.

Then came MRIs, a spinal tap and several other poking and prodding sorts of tests.  Life became a series of NEW things, including conversations about possible diseases you never think could be in your future, but were now a MAYBE.

All I wanted was a stupid 5k race t-shirt.

Forget the shirt, I just wanted my OLD things back.

The thing is, I really can’t go back.  I’ve gotten some answers.  One of which is something called small fiber neuropathy, aka the foot and hand terrorist that turns my nerves into zombies (they’re dead, but they can still wreak havoc).  Oh and it’s “idiopathic” which means of course, no one knows why I have it.  Not even Google knows (and we are very close, I’m expecting my internet medical degree in the mail any day now).

All this time I’ve been waiting for answers, but it was just this last week that I realized I’d been under the assumption that once I had the answer I would also have the solution.  But I don’t, not the kind that would make the nerve damage and whatever is causing it, to go away.

It was another reminder that we don’t always get the answers we want, or even answers at all in life.   So yea, it’s my new thing.  Maybe the old things were better.  Maybe.  But this is what I’m moving into my future with, so I have to deal.

And guess what?  I don’t think that 5k t-shirt is so stupid.  I still want it.  Yes, there is an inclination to just forget about it, even forget about the exercise I am still attempting to do (no matter how lame the old me might think it to be).

Except I’m still here and to me that means no giving up allowed.

So how does one go about moving forward after suck-tastic change?

Well, I’m all about baby steps.  You can still cover the distance that way.

And gratitude helps, but don’t beat yourself up by playing the Olympic pain games.  You know, the ones that make you feel like you can’t be mad or sad because someone else’s life sucks more than yours.

Above all, try to be kind to yourself!

Which brings me to the greeting family and friends have been giving each other the last couple of days:  “Have a SWEET new year.”  This week began the Jewish new year.  Like the new year in January, it is a time to take stock of the previous year.  It’s an opportunity for change, renewal and spiritual transformation.

 challah round _opt

The new year challah is round to symbolize the cycle of the year, the circle of life and the opportunity for spiritual transformation.

 

You see that honey in the background of the photo?  Apples and challah bits got a good dunking in the sweet stuff.  My daughter even doused her corn kugel (pudding) with honey.

A little sweet can go a long way.  Even just the idea of it offers up HOPE.

Like imagining a future post with me in a 5k t-shirt. 🙂

So be sweet to yourself.

Or focus on the new things that are awesome.  For me that’s thinking about publishing my first book or seeing the Grand Canyon with my husband and kids in a couple of months.

With dangling carrots like those it’s easier to maintain some forward motion.

So, whatever changes you are in the middle of, I wish you a sweet transformation!

How do you deal with change?  What are the dangling carrots that keep you going?

I love it when you comment!

FREE TO BE YOU AND ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA

This week I saw Maroon 5, Train and Gavin DeGraw in concert. It was an awesome show, especially because we had great seats (I was surprised, I must have read that online seating chart upside down). Being close to the stage, I could feel the music working its way up through my feet, plugging me into all that energy. Plus I love watching people do what they love to do, to see them in the middle of what they created.

It feels like a real connection.

adam levine va beach  _opt

  I could see the sheen on Adam Levine

But one of Train’s lyrics kept tapping at me, “reminds me that there’s room to grow,” and I started thinking . . . about connections and Twitter and this blog and Facebook, um and writing and growth and fear and then Eleanor Roosevelt’s quotes on courage like this one: you must do the things you think you cannot do.

*deep breath*

Okay so maybe that wasn’t exactly what Train imagined when they wrote that line (although Twitter was mentioned plenty up on the stage), but social media can be a little scary. When I started on Twitter, it was one small tweet for Twitter, but one giant leap for me.

Mostly because it was a change.

maroon 5 VA beach Coleen patrick_opt

Is there anyone out there, ’cause it’s getting harder and harder to breathe

 

It’s funny how easy it is to resist change, because give me a movie, magazine or talk show with a makeover to see and I am all over that. Then again I once resisted getting a cell phone, because I thought my handy dandy pager was oh so much better (yes I said pager). I was just used to it.

It was easier, or so i thought.

Now I’m not saying my cellphone led me to a feeling of Zen, peace and serenity, (although there might be an app for that), but it was one of those “leap” things.
Every time I tweet, blog, leave a comment on someone’s site, or a lurker’s comment on my husband’s Facebook (I’m still not on it–I know, 750 million people can’t be wrong, but baby steps people), I wonder:

Am I doing this right?

I don’t know. Maybe.

The thing is the Internet always comes across to me as so virtual, but it is real life, real people. So if that’s true, then how do I be me in this virtual but not virtual place?

gavin degraw va beach_opt

I don’t want to be anything other than me 

Because being online is different than say meeting someone at school or a party or work, or even what you get from being at a live concert, but whether you’re out in public or on the couch in your pajamas, it seems like we are all still showing up for the same reason:

Connection.

And that can be one of those important things that reminds us “there’s room to grow,” because we get to discover people living out their goals and dreams and vacations and children and books and music, and hopefully find a little inspiration for our own lives.

Then, what do you know, along comes change.